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The word "Bood," is a term of the Western
Semai (a gentle, aboriginal people who live on the Malay peninsula)
and translates roughly as "reluctant or shy." It means
"not to feel like doing something, for any reason, for example,
sickness, shyness, or laziness." Translated into today's
language, it is simply one of our fundamental rights, the
right to say no!
Robert
Knox Dentan, in Chapter six of a book entitled "The Semai,
A Nonviolent People of Malaya," (1979) Holt, Rinehart and
Winston:New York elaborated on the amazing belief of "bood"
and how it contributes to the lack of violence in this tribe of
people. I ran across this concept by way of the book entitled:
"Dark Nature, A Natural History of Evil," by Lyall Watson
(1996) HarperCollins: New York, pg. 155.
You see, the children of Semai are taught from an early age, the
concept of "bood." If a parent asks a child to do something
and the child replies "I bood," in other words, "I
don't feel like doing that," the matter is closed. The parent
never tries to force or coerce the child to do something it does
not want to do! Indeed, to do so is "punan"
or taboo! These people find it totally abhorrent to even think
of hitting or punishing
their children to make them do something. According to the Semai,
the Malays (who live in the more developed areas of the Malay
peninsula) " 'are always hitting, hitting, hitting
their children.' Semai almost never do. That is why, they
conclude, Semai children are healthy and fat while Malay children
are whining and scrawny..." When asked the reasons why an
adult should not hit another, the simple reply is "Suppose
he hit you back." I love the clear logic. If the other person
hits you back, its going to hurt!
According to Dentan, "The Semai indulge their babies. Since
infants cannot talk, the Semai say they cannot understand, and
there is no sense trying to discipline
them. Consequently, an infant can do almost anything it wants-hit
people, expose its genitals, defecate anywhere, upset household
arrangements. Everyone cuddles, carries, and plays with it. If
it weeps, someone is always on hand to comfort it or to divert
its attention. It sleeps between its parents, so that either can
get up and rock it if it wakes up and weeps." Wow, this sounds
like heaven to me! Unconditional acceptance!
The Semai's do not punish aggression in children. In fact, they
find it to be funny, and when a child tries to hit an adult, they
laugh! Well, think about it, most of the stuff little children
fight about are so trivial, that to an adult, it really is funny.
Instead of fighting, children from two to ten years of age, are
taught a game where they can menace each other in dramatic postures
with long sticks. However, when they swing the stick to strike
an opponent, they always freeze a couple of inches away from the
target, thus repeatedly rehearsing their fundamental rule of refraining
from violence, so that it becomes second nature. Thus, the children
and adults have little personal experience with violence, and
so it does not even come to mind to use this tactic. In fact,
they are scared of it! (We, on the other hand, see so much of
it on TV, that naturally, it is the first thing that comes to
mind.)
Furthermore, the child by the rules of this culture, are never
placed in the awkward position of rebelling against the parents.
If the child says "I bood," the parents do not object!
The parents think it is wrong to pressure a child into obedience.
There is no childhood power struggle with authority! Thus, all
that resentment, which is the cause of so much delinquency in
our youth, never gets to build up.
While all this happiness sounds too good to be true, there is
a flaw in this system. Since no one can command or coerce
another person to do something they don't want to do, there is
no hierarchy or system of authority. No headsman, no bureacracy,
no way of forcing a group of individuals to act as one unit. Thus,
when the Semai come into contact with a world which does not follow
these rules, they lose in the competition. Sadly, this population
of kind, generous and fun loving people (who unfortunately are
often considered by outsiders as timid and lazy) has dwindled
down to population of less than 13,000. But maybe this population
of people is onto something. Is there something beyond
hierarchy? Perhaps this society is has more fairness
and justice? Maybe we could adopt some of their rules?
There is also another population of non-violent aboriginal people
in Malaya called the Temair described in the book entitled: "In
Search of the Dream People," by Richard Noone with Dennis
Holman, (1972), William Morrow & Company: New York. This fascinating
group of people meet every morning to discuss their dreams! Consider
the following commentary from this book (pg. 55):
"In the morning councils, when important dreams are discussed,
the elders will consider not only the adults' dreams but those
of the children. This inculcates in children a sense of responsibility,
besides removing one of the prime causes for the feeling so common
in Western children that adults have no real interests in the
child as a person but are only concerned with making rules to
impose their will upon him and receiving back from him echoes
of their own ideas and attitudes. It is accepted by psychologists
today that it is the failure of our society to appreciate and
accept the children's spontaneous expression of his ideas that
leads to inferiority and persecution complexes and at times to
the type of pent-up hostility that can overflow into delinquency
and crime...."
So parents, teachers .... when was the last time you really listened
to your children? How about play with them?
Bibliography
Dentan,
R K., (1979) "The Semai, A Nonviolent People of Malaya,"
Holt, Rinehart and Winston:New York.
Lewandowski, J. (2000) "Americans'
Use of Discipline Examined," University at Buffalo Reporter,
v31(21) pg.3
Noone, R., Holman, D. (1972). "In Search of the Dream People,"
William Morrow & Company: New York.
Watson, Lyall, (1996) "Dark Nature, A Natural History of
Evil," HarperCollins: New York, pg. 155.
Dentan, RK, Bibliography
of articles on Semai and nonviolence
First posted in February 1997, last updated 30 December 2002
Copyright ©
1997-2000 by Duen
Hsi Yen, All rights reserved.
E-mail: yen@noogenesis.com
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