of the original Warm Fuzzy Tale by Claude Steiner.
Once upon a time - a long time ago, there lived two very happy people Jim and Maggie with two children called John and Lucy. To understand how happy they were you have to understand how things were in those days. You see, in those days everyone was given, at birth, a warm soft fuzzy-bag. Anytime a person reached into his or her bag, they were able to pull out a warm fuzzy. Warm fuzzies were very much in demand, because whenever someone was given a warm fuzzy, he would feel warm and fuzzy all over. The people who didn't get warm fuzzies regularly were in danger of developing sickness in their backs which caused them to shrivel up and die. In those days it was very easy to get warm fuzzies. Any time somebody felt like it, he might walk up to you and say "I would like to have a warm fuzzy from you". You would then dip into your bag and pull out a fuzzy the size of a little child's hand. As soon as the fuzzy came out it would smile and blossom into a large shaggy warm fuzzy. You would then lay it on the persons shoulder or head or lap and it would snuggle and melt right against their skin and make them feel good all over.
People were always asking each other for warm fuzzies and since they were always given freely, getting enough of them was never a problem. There were always plenty to go around and as a consequence everyone was happy and felt warm and fuzzy most of the time.
One day a bad witch became angry because everyone was happy and no-one was buying her potions and salves. The witch was very clever and she devised a very wicked plan. One beautiful morning, she crept up to Jim while Maggie was playing with their daughter and whispered in his ear, "Look at all the fuzzies that Maggie is giving to Lucy. You know, if she keeps it up, eventually she is going to run out and there won't be any left for you". Jim was astonished. He turned to the witch and said, "Do you mean to tell me there isn't a warm fuzzy in our bag everytime we reach into it?" and the witch said "No! Absolutely not and once you run out, that is it and you don't have any more". With this she flew away on her broom laughing and cackling hysterically. Jim took this all to heart and began to notice everytime Maggie gave up a warm fuzzy to anyone else. Eventually, he got very worried and upset because he liked Maggie's warm fuzzies very much and did not want to give them up. He certainly did not think it was right for Maggie to be spending all her warm fuzzies on the children and on other people. He began to complain everytime he saw Maggie giving a warm fuzzy to somebody else and because Maggie liked him very much and did not want him to be upset, she stopped giving warm fuzzies to other people and reserved them for him.
The children watched what was happening to Jim and Maggie and soon began to get the idea that it was wrong to give up warm fuzzies everytime were asked or felt like it. They too became careful, they would watch their parents closely and whenever they felt that one of their parents was giving too many fuzzies to others, they began to object. They began to feel worried whenever they gave away too many warm fuzzies, even though they found a warm fuzzy everytime they reached into their bag, and began to do so less and less and became more and more stingy. Soon people began to notice the lack of warm fuzzies and they began to feel less and less fuzzy. They began to shrivel up and occasionally people would die from lack of warm fuzzies. More and more people went to the witch to buy her potions and salves, even though they didn't work. The situation was getting very serious indeed. The bad witch, who had been watching all of this, didn't really want the people to die, so she devised a new plan.
The witch now gave everyone a bag which was very similar to the fuzzy bag except that it was cold instead of being warm like the fuzzy bag. Inside the witches bag were cold pricklies. These cold pricklies did not make people feel warm and fuzzy but made them feel cold and prickly instead. But they did prevent peoples backs from shrivelling up, so from then on, everytime somebody said "I want a warm fuzzy", people who were worried about depleting their supply said "we can't give you a warm fuzzy but would you like a cold prickly?" Sometimes two people would walk up to one another thinking they could get a warm fuzzy but one or the other would change their minds and they would end up giving each other cold pricklies.
What was happening now was, that whilst very few people were actually dying, a lot of people were still unhappy and feeling very cold and prickly. The situation got very complicated because since the coming of the witch, there were less and less warm fuzzies around, so warm fuzzies, which used to be thought of as free as air now became very valuable. This caused people to do all sorts of things in order to obtain warm fuzzies. Before the witch had appeared, people used to gather in groups of four or five never caring too much who was giving warm fuzzies to whom. After the coming of the witch, people began to pair off and to reserve all their warm fuzzies for each other exclusively. If ever one of the two persons forgot himself and gave a warm fuzzy to someone else, he would immediately feel guilty about it because he knew that his partner would probably resent the loss of the warm fuzzy. People who could not find a generous partner had to buy their warm fuzzies and had to work long hours to earn the money. Another thing which happened was that some people would take cold pricklies which were limitless and freely available and coat them white and fluffy and pass them on as warm fuzzies. These counterfeit warm fuzzies were really plastic fuzzies and caused additional difficulties. For instance a few people would get together and freely exchange plastic fuzzies which presumably should make them feel good but they came away feeling bad from there. Since they thought they had been exchanging warm fuzzies, people grew very confused about this, never realising that their cold prickly feelings were really the result of the fact that they had been given a lot of plastic fuzzies.
The situation was very, very difficult and it all started because of the coming of the wicked witch, who made people believe that someday, when least expected, they might reach into their warm fuzzy bag and find no more fuzzies.
Not long ago a young woman with big hips and who was born under the sign of Aquarius, came to this unhappy land. She had not heard about the witch and was not worried about running out of warm fuzzies. She gave them out freely even when not asked. They called her the hip-woman and disapproved of her because she was giving the children the idea they should not worry about running out of warm fuzzies. The children liked her very much because they felt good around her and had begun to give out warm fuzzies whenever they felt like it.
The grown-ups became very concerned and decided to pass a law to protect the children from depleting supplies of warm fuzzies. The law made it a criminal offence to give out warm fuzzies in a reckless manner. The children however, seemed not to care and in spite of the new law, they continued to give each other warm fuzzies whenever they felt like it and always when asked. Because there were many, many children, almost as many as grown-ups, it began to look as if maybe they would have their way.
As of now, it is hard to say what will happen. Will the grown-up forces of law and order stop the recklessness of the children?
Are the grown-ups going to join with the hip-woman and the children in taking a chance that there will always be as many warm fuzzies as needed?
Will they remember the days their children are trying to bring back when warm fuzzies were abundant because people gave them away freely?